Please forgive me for pouring cold water on you; I promised myself I would never do that to anyone.
I also vowed I would let you be whoever you want to be with me. All I want is to know you care about me, but perhaps that is too early to say.
Perhaps I am expecting too much too soon; a consequence of treading the worn out path of serious relationships many times before.
On the other hand casual relationships incite fun with carefree flings and emotional unattachment; but leaves my soul feeling empty in the end.
There must be a middle road; which has for me been unchartered territory up until now. But one I am prepared to explore, especially with you.
So what to do when I start feeling nervous of old ghosts reappearing? Who decides the next step the relationship should take? I feel guilty that it has been me so far.
It takes courage to let a relationship flow down an uncertain path. It is like going on a road trip without a map and only your sense of direction!
But if I let go then how will I get what I need out of the relationship? Maybe what I think I need is just an illusion; borne out of old relationship patterns. Maybe there is another relationship universe to explore?
Right now I feel stuck in the fog, reaching my hand out in the hope you will take my hand to guide me and tell me everything I want to hear.
But I think it is up to me this time to have faith and courage to get myself out of the fog.
You have a beautiful soul that glows every time you smile. I pray that faith will guide me to you, waiting in the sunshine in this other universe.
