Other Peoples Problems

Strange is it not how remote and unexciting other peoples problems may seem when you are recovering from a romantic disappointment yourself. Awful memories of being a lonely and depressed youth come back with a flood, trying to claim me, clawing at my psyche.

But this time they will not succeed. This time i find myself alone but not depressed, this time my lost lover left me with a full heart. For two years she has welcomed me into her home and made of me a man worth looking after. She has encouraged me to make the necessary changes, like giving up smoking and buying some decent clothes. She has fed me the tastiest healthiest food of my life and best of all she has needed and accepted my love and support through one of the most difficult periods of her own life.

Truth is her rejection hurts me deeply but this time i have been healed more than i have been hurt, the complements have outweighed the doubts, the hugs have outnumbered the grumps and above all the gentle sweetness continued to the end of the last conversation.

Of course i want her attention back but even more than that i want her freedom to continue, i believe i have helped her to achieve it. Please excuse me while i pat myself on the back… i’ll whip myself in private later for being fool enough to let her go.

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