by Guillane Apollinare

12 March, 2009

(Original en Francais)

come to the edge

no, we will fall


come to the edge

no, we will fall


they came to the edge

he pushed them-

and they flew…


Beta Blockers

12 March, 2009

And in the height of adoration

my lover gave to me

the sad strength required

to accommodate the loss

of the very sexuality

we were celebrating

A birthday card a year later

sweet confirmation

of a shared memory

of a mutual front

which made me permanently whole

Arm in arm, the crowds

making way for us

through the english spring

in silent recognition

of our right

because finding love

relives the lifelong search for it

should it stay or should it go

the worry is no more

Green Tree Frog Bathroom Invasion

3 March, 2009

“It isn’t easy being green” said Kirmit the frog, i am starting to appreciate how he felt. What does a greenish bloke do when his bathroom is full of frogs; climbing the walls, bathing in the water bucket, falling on his head as he comes in the door and, god forbid, making love in the toilet?

If you try to pick them up you get covered in their slimy toxic defense goo, not toxic to us but unpleasant anyhow. If you don’t fish them out of the loo before, well some things are just unthinkable are they not. Crickets in the drinking water can be fished out, spider webs across the driveway with ten gram spiders hanging in them, can be avoided if you are quick enough, crows on the roof, magpies in the morning, whatever but i will not take a dump on a frog no matter how long it takes to evict them from their little lagoon of love…

Bye the bye, beta blockers are having the multiple benefit of reducing BP and tremors, and sudden grumpiness, i wish i had been introduced to them before. Here’s hoping you are enjoying life too, my dear and patient reader. Here is a wish of vigor in your dealings.

From my favourite Poet

7 January, 2009

I have a small grain of hope,
One small crystal that gleams clear colours of transparency.
I need more.
I break off a fragment to send to you.
Please take this grain of a grain of hope, so that mine won’t shrink,
Please share your fragment so that yours’ will grow,
Only so by division will hope increase…
Like a clump of irises, which will cease to flower,
Unleess you distribute the clustered roots…
Unlikely source, clumsy and earth covered of grace.

Antechainus Babies

7 January, 2009

Let me assure you this Antechainus is not a rat, the vague resembelance is all there is in common between these critters. Antechainus is an intelligent and capable housemate who, though expecting me to clean up the occasional poo, is otherwise a great pleasure to have around.

The nose is long and pointy, the tail is shortish and black from half way down. The climbing skills exceed those of the rat by some considerable margin. The poo is only insect shells and does not even smell. The attitude is sanguine, the gaze intense, the wiskers never still.

She, as it turns out, thanks me each nite when i turn out the lights, for the delicous bugs that have come for her to eat as a consequqnce of the light being on. Further, having decided that i am friendly and most unlikley to include her in the curries that i cook, she paid me the great compliment of introducing me to her two new babies.

She arrived with them both clinging to her back and her pride was evident. They are now getting used to me and come and play about the ladder on the back verandah while i drink my morning tea. Blessed i am, hope you are too.

Tis a season to be Jolly

22 December, 2008

So i celebrated the soulstice by plotting true north and banging some stakes into the ground to make sure that i don’t loose track of it again.

Ever since moveing into the rainforrest it has been one adventure after another. The house is beautiful though, a Nipon inspired twelve sided roundhouse built in local hardwood by my friend Mr. Molinari some fifteen years ago, i cannot work out if it has ever been occupied.

Antechinus is the boss of course. You can not argue with a three inch possum who has lived there since birth and can accelerate to 30 mph in 0.2 seconds. I struggle up the kilometer long entry track on my new postie scooter. Crossing creeks and trying not to run over turtles, past the miraculas shed which is what i actually rented the place for, past the valley of dreams where a million tonnes of rain water comes each time we get an inch of rain, and then up the short climb which discloses the most glorious view of Billen Cliffs.

Sitting on the wide curving verandah i look out and try to piece together the progress i’ve made since leaving the Adelaide Hills in January of… which year was that?

Life is good, and for some silly reason it seems to keep getting better, touch wood, despite the wourld turning to bother and confusion i, arguably one of the most careless and confused of its citizens, climb to ever greater heights of beeing lucky.

Must remind self not to take it for granted. The point being that circumstances are now ripe for the finalizing of experimental design plans. Just as soon as they have been checked, prey improved, by some local experts. Real actual professional, this time.

As the weather cycles rapidly between torrential rain and windy sun the house is invaded by countless types of marsupial (paddymellons, wallabies, possum, chinus) spiders (golden orb, huntsman, funnelweb) snakes ( python and though i haven’t seen them yet, red belly black and tipan) lizzards (from four foot goanna to skinks, dragon and water goanna) tourtoise. Insects too beautiful and numerous to list.

The almost vertical bush surronding the house on three sides is re-developing it’s canopy so it groaning with an unchartable diversity of life, every individual of which is straining to get on with the next bit. The energy of the place is exhausting, entertaining, deeply invigourating. Come see…

A Poem for Poets, by Robin 2002

4 August, 2008

Oh don’t we sound silly My grey celled Mate

Does it happen by chance or does it just come by fate

That we who are blessed with wisdom and charm

Can to some people Attract yet to others disarm

Perhaps it’s a blessing or maybe a curse

For our good times seem better but then the bad times are worse

But no matter the world over a coffee we can sit

Amazing each other with our own special wit

We who are versed in words that are penned

Visit just briefly from the world of pretend


30 June, 2008

Goodbye beautiful chaos

India, China, Indonesia, all in one

Goodbye cheep phone, accessible Internet

Goodbye warmpth and friendliness

Goodbye weekends without drunken fights

Goodbye never being cold

Goodbye Malaysia

I’ll be back

Blood & Noise

29 June, 2008

Is it just me or is the world gaining momentum. While sitting in my hotel room feeling torn between being where i am needed, i recieved  a call requesting my presence at a battle of bands.

The winners were a cert, Blood and Noise, teenage heavy metal at its best played in a school hall but with style, vigor, open anger and some really dangerous guitar from Zai Junior. Quite took me out of myself.

Finished off the day at KL’s hit resturant Cheng Ho, Wongsa Mayo in good company. No extra charge for truly inspired cusine. Not quite sure what i have done to deserve all this.

Very far from where i should be though, someone is being let down by my absence again. And in the background there are political prisoners in “great” Britain being denied adequate food, trial and medical treatment, as a punishment for peacefully standing up for their perfectly justifiable beliefs. Sweetness is nursing her mother through the hardest thing of all and my next experiment is shelved.

Happy i may be, richeous i am not.

The Piscies Dilema Again

25 June, 2008

A most wonderful opportunity has been offered to me, to live and do professional work in Malaysia. But being a Pisces the inevitable indecision confounds me.

I will of course agree but first i must convince myself that income, lifestyle and job satisfaction are more important than love or building spaceship motor experiments.

Here i am though, so i have at least taken the first step. My life has changed course forever so please excuse me if my inward compassion overrides other types of logic temporarily.

Love is such a terribly difficult thing to walk away from after all, after everything, even after the choice has already been made by someone else for a reason never shared and possibly forgotten.

Doubts aside though, the gloves are off. Once more, please wish me even more luck… even if i no longer deserve it.